It’s not easy being an open sort of person, and it’s difficult to imagine anyone reading this. But maybe you’ve been struggling with something like this too. I don’t feel like I have a very strong faith. There. I said it. And it’s hard trying to not be jealous and petty.
Right now, one of my goals is getting to Munich to look at documents from the IfZ. I’m working on biographies of Werner Scholl and Walter Klingenbeck. Parts of these projects have come easier than others. I still don’t have a publisher and still am in the depths of research. and never did hear back from Saint Ludwig’s (Walter’s parish in Munich). (Life preserver anyone?) And I had to respect the fact that a sister of one of these people said she didn’t want to meet me either. (Totally understandable, but still a bit of a blow!) And of course it didn’t help when my parents were much more supportive of my brother travel plans – going Munich with his friend – while I had to stay at home going through surgery. (I know.. whine whine whine; nobody likes a crybaby!) The thing I’m trying to get at though, is this whole situation is a process. I have been working on improving my German, and saving up, so hopefully will get over there sometime soon.
One of my biggest fears is not getting over to Munich in time, because I feel like I’m in a bit of a time crunch. What if I get over there, and it’s too late. That’s the difficult part, that I have to come to terms with.
Anyway, if anybody has any words of wisdom or comments, please share!